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Home » Editorial Articles, Headline, Paranormal, Uncategorized

Zombies make the news, but should you worry?

Submitted by on October 29, 2009 – 7:58 AM5 Comments | 1,484 views

zombies

Zombies. Javier hates em, I like to shoot them in video games. I’m sure Joe has no affinity for the living dead. Some  people actually like them, well the concept anyways. Odds are you will see a couple this Halloween, at least imitation zombies. Zombies have been making the news lately, from Science vs. ‘Zombie Attack’ to The best approach for avoiding zombies. Even though the possibility of a zombie apocalypse are slim to none, the possibility remains.

I would think the possibility would come from the likes of a 28 days later, or Resident Evil scenario, where some bizarre virus ravages civilization, spreading like wildfire. Never mind the Dawn of the dead zombies, I mean really, think about it. If you can outmaneuver them, how challenging would that be? Cleanup would be nothing more than your average slaughter. No, I’m thinking Zombieland zombies, who run willy-nilly to get a piece of ya. Running zombies are much more scarier. We could all be subjected to a hectic daily lifestyle of zombie avoidance, scavenging for everyday needs while killing off threatening ghouls who want nothing more than the flesh off our bones. Life would suck.

Yet honestly, if there was a zombie apocalypse, what are most people to do? Lock the doors? Wait for help?  I looked at some of the numbers:

Census 300,000,000 people living in the US (Census Bureau)

1,076,900 law enforcement officers in the US (National Institute of Justice)

106,000 Federal law enforcement officers (National Institute of Justice)

1,00,00 active military personnel (within the US), 900,000 in reserve (Wikipedia)

The totals come to 3,082,900 military/civilian personnel who could potentially be called into duty to deal with a population of 300,000,000.  Off the top, these men and women would have to kill approximately 97 zombies apiece if we all were turned into zombies. That’s not likely, but then again, the numbers are deceptive. For the military, the general theory is it takes five people to support one combat soldier. These support personnel range from cooks, drivers, medical professionals, clerks, pilots, mechanics, you name it. Now obviously, some of these support personnel would get pressed into the front lines, so lets fudge factor the numbers from 1.9 million to lets say, 600,000. That brings the numbers down to 1,782,900 armed military/law enforcement personnel for 300,000,000 and comes out to 168 kills needed if all of us were zombies. Lets also say, only twenty percent of the population became zombies. These men and women would only have to kill about 34 zombies apiece. Considering the amount of firepower brought to bear just by the military alone, not to mention law enforcement, and lets be serious, just about everyone in the United States has a gun, I earnestly don’t see how the zombies would stand a chance, running or not. Either way, it would be a slaughter.

Of course, if the fetid creatures managed to overcome the mass firepower brought to bear against them, what next?

Lock away the women and the children for starters, as civilization regresses back to the middle ages. Seriously! Who’s will fuel power plants, keep the nations infrastructure going, or grow food? Just about everything will grind to a screeching halt. Rural families will have to become self-sufficient (aren’t they already?), while people in the cities and suburbs will have to lock down entire neighborhoods and collectively fight off the scourge at the perimeters in order to survive, if that is possible. Lawns will have to be turned into gardens, trees into look-out posts, and lawyers will have to get dirt under their fingernails. So will everyone else I suppose. I can’t see slackers surviving humanity as the movie cliche’s go. You’ll either be an asset to a community or you’ll be zombie fodder. It’ll get worst for city-dwellers, as grocery stores become emptied, only the strong will survive, by way of the gun. Southern cities could survive on gardens, but northern cities would be damned as soon as colder weather set in, and food production goes to zero. And what of zombies in the winter weather? Will they freeze solid in cold weather like I think they would? Ironically, winter would become everyone’s favorite season if that held true.

Even if the zombie apocalypse became reality, I would think humanity would survive. Not only are we going to be smarter, we will use our resources to their fullest. People will find ways to survive, by living off the land until people are forced to go onto the offensive. Meanwhile, groups of people will more than likely be taking matters into their own hands from the start. Military units and police will organize, purging the country of zombies, until humanity (or what remains) could live once again in safety.  If the zombie apocalypse happens, remember these actions: Get weapons, get food, get safe then get mad! Every zombie that you personally kill gets you that much closer back to the current life you have now. Minus your mother-in-law, and a few co-workers, and friends, and, well you get the idea.

 

Enjoy these educational films on zombies! Happy Halloween to all!

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Gary

“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.” - Stuart Chase

Latest posts by Gary (see all)

  • http://ghosttheory.com Javier Ortega

    Gary,

    I wouldn’t say I ‘hate’ zombies, I DESPISE them. Only because they’ve given me nightmares all my life.

    You know, my girl and I will sometimes talk about a “zombie apocalypse” scenario during a dinner conversation. Many people around us will just stare at us.

    We play out all scenarios, and like you mentioned, we talk about food and weapons and living in a large city. Our conversations turn from zombie-bashing to the ethical implications of helping others or helping ourselves first.

    Great read!

    -Javier

  • http://www.GhostTheory.com Joe Ruiz

    Gary,

    Awesome post. I love killing zombies in my video games. Zombie games are the best!. However if I were to become one the first person I’d go after would be Javier just to see his expression. hahaha

  • http://NotionsCapital.com Mike Licht

    It’s not a fad, it’s a syndrome — Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder, ZBSD

    See:

    http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/10/30/seasonal-health-threat/

  • Gary

    LOL! Nice links in there Mike, that’s for the heads-up. Humoressly, a Harvard psychiatrist does a write up on zombies.

  • Jen

    my fiance and i are already very well prepped for zombies…in marinade. jk. have a couple machetes, a bunch of throwing kinves (lolz at shaun of the dead) and numerous other bludgeoning tools. the only thing i’m missing is a motorcycle so i can do some quick “mass beheadings”.