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Cleaning The Death Star

May 24, 2013 – 7:20 AM | 98 views

It was just a few months ago that I came across an article on centives.com called: “How Long Would It Take Darth Vader To Mop The Death Star?”
Oddly enough, I actually had to know and …

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Home » crypto, Headline, Paranormal

Minnesota “Mystery Roadkill”

Submitted by on August 6, 2011 – 10:39 AM13 Comments | 10,439 views

The people in Alexandria, Minnesota are talking. They’re huddling together in coffee shops and department stores in tight groups in which whispers of “monster” and “mutant beast” can be heard around them. Whatever lays dead on the local highway is not a known creature, in fact, it looks mutated. With five long claws, a crown of fur on its otherwise hairless skin, this snarling looking beast is firing up the town’s imagination. Or at least that’s how I picture it in my head.

The boring story goes a little bit different than my version of things.

“Minnesota Department of Natural Resources officials have been unable to identify a mystery carcass found in Douglas County with certainty, prompting further investigation.”

Says Montrealgazette.com. But that hasn’t stopped the locals from speculating what this creature is. It doesn’t look familiar upon first glance of the photographs released, but I am reminded of other “mystery creature” stories that the media likes to embellish. Remember the Montauk Monster of 2008? I thought the Montauk Monster was a Pit bull, but it ended up being just the bloated carcass of a raccoon.

Still, stories like these are favored by the media because they attract readers. So the more outrages the claims, the better it is for them. That’s how I feel about this particular “Minnesota mystery roadkill” story.

Full story: Montrealgazette.com

Alexandria, Minn. – Minnesota Department of Natural Resources officials have been unable to identify a mystery carcass found in Douglas County with certainty, prompting further investigation.

The dead white mammal was spotted this week on a Douglas County road with five claws, dark tufts of hair on its back and head and long toenails.

Roadkill is nothing new for Minnesotans, but this curious creature got people talking.

Lacey Ilse said she was driving near her home on County Road 86, south of Alexandria, when she spotted the mysterious mammal.

“We saw something in the middle of the road, and we knew it wasn’t a dog or a cat, because it didn’t have hair. It had a clump of hair and all the rest was just white skin,” Ilse said.”Its ear was all mis-shaped. To me, it looked like half-human.”

Ilse said she soon posted pictures of the animal on Facebook, and rumours and speculation took off.

“It just shot out like wildfire. Everybody was putting it on their Facebook pages. And then, their friends were putting it on their pages,” she said.

Noelle Jones sent the pictures to local television station KSAX on Monday, and after posting them on the KSAX Facebook page that night, more than 175 comments have been posted about the unusual animal, with guesses ranging from a skunk, badger, wolverine, wolf, or even proof of the mythical chupacabra.

Folks in Alexandria this week had their own ideas.

“First guess was a badger with like, a case of mange. But then, some other people were saying, like a chupacabra. And after looking at some pictures, I was like, ‘You know, it’s possible,” Jones said.

“It kinda looks like a 10-year-old wolf,” Austin Becker of Alexandria said.

“Almost looks like a pig, with paws? I don’t know, or a wolf,” Kaitlin Van Horn of Morris said.

Glenwood DNR Area Wildlife Supervisor Kevin Kotts used the process of elimination to give his answer.

“It’s got five long front claws on each of its front feet, which would be characteristic of a badger,” Kotts said. “I ran the pictures past a few other DNR folks that have a lot of trapping and/or fur-bare experience, and they all said, it’s hard to be 100-per-cent sure what it is . . . but if it’s a Minnesota animal, it’s probably a badger.”

But Ilse, and just about everyone else who has seen it, isn’t so sure.

“If you’re looking at the top half, it definitely looks like a dog that’s kind of been torn apart. But, I’m not sure what to make of the back part,” Igor Simanovich of the Twin Cities said.

“It’s a strange animal and I hope we don’t have anymore around here,” Jane Murphy of Alexandria said.

“You know how they do their government secret testing on animals? And I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve never seen an animal like this,” Ilse said Jason Abraham, with the Department of Natural Resources, said he thinks it may be a domestic dog, but he is still left with questions.

“The head suggests a canine, very likely a domestic dog,” Abraham said.

“However, the right front foot appears to have five toes, which is not typical for canines. Also, the long toenails are not typical for an active canine.”

Ilse said some of her guinea hens and cats are missing and suspects the animal or others in the area may be to blame. Several burrowed holes ranging from four to 10 inches in size were also spotted near where the animal was found.

Ilse said Kotts was able to check the creature out Wednesday afternoon and said it’s similar to a badger but has a much longer tail than usual, and took the carcass in for further testing.

Read more: http://www.canada.com/technology/Mystery+roadkill+Minnesota+experts+baffled/5212997/story.html#ixzz1UHEfQIS3

I'm a writer, a runner, and a hell of a coffee drinker residing in Los Angeles. I'm currently working on a book about Doris Bither and her terrifying account of a haunting in Culver City, California. The case was dubbed "The Entity" and it stands to be one of the most controversial cases ever to be studied by parapsychologists.

  • Traveller

    Not a local, but the paw suggests a badger.

  • http://idoubtit.wordpress.com Sharon Hill

    Badger seems to be the common suggestion. Why do hairless animals freak people out? Death and decomposition cause some distortions from the expected idea of what an animal looks like. I’m really getting annoyed with EVERYTHING being labeled “chupacabra”. Goat sucker = scapegoat for everything we can’t immediately identify.

  • http://ghosttheory.com Javier Ortega

    Sharon,

    I hear ya!

    Stories like this one go viral quick, and almost all the information is wrong or embellished.

  • Henry

    Better yet, ask my wife why she is so freaked out that I am hairy all over?
    Go figure!

  • RednGreen

    “First guess was a badger with like, a case of mange. But then, some other people were saying, like a chupacabra. And after looking at some pictures, I was like, ‘You know, it’s possible,” Jones said.

    The power of suggestion is very strong.

    Does anyone know how long it takes an animal to decompose to the point you no longer recognize it, like this animal is? If it’s laying in the road, it’s been there for approximately how long to get to this point? Wouldn’t other people have seen it too? Maybe someone would remember driving by it a couple of days before and saw that it was only badger or something like that?

    lol @ Henry

  • Nobbles

    That’s CLEARLY a Chinese lantern. You’d have to be blind not to see it!

  • Scientia

    Nobles – laugh out loud.

  • Sean

    Spuds MacKenzie the Original Party Animal.
    Could be a badger, but it doesn’t have much hair. Perhaps mange or something going with a badger? Who knows.

  • Valkyrie

    Nobbles, I get it, cuz badgers are blind, heh heh. I admit sometimes I don’t readily see the deep beauty of Chinese Lanterns and then it just hits me, Laugh out Loud ;)

    Off topic, but it would be cool if GhostTheory reached 88 fans on facebook on 8/8. It’s at 82 now. And while we’re at it, there are 776 followers on Twitter, while there should be 800 on 8/8. It would like, be a present to me. And possible neuroses I have.

  • Sean

    Badgers aren’t blind, just nocturnal.

  • http://www.ghosttheory.com Valkyrie

    Isn’t there a saying “blind as a badger” or blind as a something… bat, mouse, church mouse? :)

  • Scientia

    Apparently, badgers are born blind. Doesn’t look like mange as typically the mites make patches on the fur. Thinking albino…

    Valkyrie :-)

  • Justin

    By carefully comparing the anatomy of the badger with that of the wolverine, my guess (since the Montauk was clearly a raccoon when anatomy was compared) right now is that this creature is a severely birth-deformed wolverine — the tip-off is the color and up-rightness of the tufts of hair, which are identical with that of a wolverine. The existence of bizarrely hairless creatures, with perhaps additional deformities, indicates that the environmental poisoning which is affecting amphibians, fish, etc., has now reached the level of land-based mammal life. Mercury, perhaps, or pesticides. But what the hell; even after it affects humans, nothing will change…. Consider this a warning from Mother Nature.

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