I grew up in rural NWPA, surrounded in forest. I took an early interest in cryprozoology and sharks and have read many books on various crypto subjects such as Bigfoot and Megalodon over the years. I am not a professional writer or a journalist, but I do the best I can. I have a quirky, obscurely dry and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor than can get me in trouble. Some love me and some hate me, but I am who I am.

What would you do if alien spacecraft suddenly appeared on the horizon? Well, let’s see…..
If it were me, I’d do the following in no particular order:

1. Pee pants.
2. Poop pants.
3. Run around in circles with arms flailing over my head, screaming uncontrollably.
4. Pass out.
5. Wake up.
6. Repeat.

Actually, I’d probably take charge of things. What things you say? Well, rounding up all the supermodels and making sure they are cared for. What?! Someone has to repopulate after the massacree!

I’ll never forget the encounter I had long ago in my yute. I woke up and saw an alien peeking through the blinds into my room. I panicked and ran screaming, mommy, mommy, mommy until I reached my mother’s bedroom. She rocked me back to sleep, reassuring me that aliens and monsters were just in my imjajigasion. Now, almost a year later, I’m not so sure she told me the truth.

OK, moving on! I happen to be channel surfing last Sunday night and this mockumentary caught my eye. It goes through the scenario of what might happen if we were invaded from space.

I watched the entire thing and it was very interesting. Furthermore, just when I had the ending pegged, bam! It all went in a different direction.

There’s lots of interesting commentary from “know it all” types and people who have delusions that we could actually……OK, I don’t want to give anything away here. The point is, I thought it was fairly cool. A little hard to swallow, but cool. You know, kind of like cough syrup with codeine in it. Tastes awful but well worth the yucky time….Oh and the relief from coughing of course.

What’s that you’re mumbling? Druggie?! I’m no druggie! Now where’s my one hitter, I know I put it here somewhere.

Come onnnn! I knew I put it…..My brother must have…..Oh! Sorry, Kinda lost track of things there. Anyway, let’s get on with the show; I really think you guys will enjoy it.

National Geographic – When Aliens Attack

That was awesome, huh?! Especially the part where Will Smith is all: “Welcome to whatever and stuff”! Wait, am I…..By the way, I found…the thing and then….Where was I?

Thanks to National Geographic for being cool with having their videos reposted.

Here’s their great “how to” handbook on alien invasion.
Plus, their zombie outbreak simulator.

  • Valkyrie13

    No kidding, well in that case I’ll opt to become a war refugee in Mexico, and sip on margaritas and do tequila shots all day long.  Although I bet if there ever was a war between the States and Canada it would be over water, and if there’s a shortage of water for whatever reason, maybe Mexico is not the best place to be.

  • Jon

    I don’t think aliens would need to invade earth. If they are advanced enough they can just build their own planet, kind of like the Death Star from Star Wars. Or just terraform a planet quickly and easily. They wouldn’t need to invade earth, I mean they could choose to but I don’t think they would bother. 

  • DaveBusinessOnline

    I hate the new style of documentaries they are making.
    Shouldnt that be “Docudrama” instead of “Mockumentary”?

    If I saw an alien craft on the horizon, I would pack my bags with weapons, food and porn mags with one hand while checking GhostTheory.com with the other hand. It would calm me down checking your site as there are always people who refuse to believe.

    It would be like the Iraq invasion all again with the Iraqi commander stood saying that the US were not in Baghdad while US tanks rolled behind him. Right? We could have alien craft filling the skies, dead everywhere, up to our waists in blood and there would still be people saying “I cant believe you are so gullible / uneducated / stupid / idiotic to believe this”.

    Bottom line is that if they did invade, we would be screwed. We would be lucky if we became their pets, but based on what us humans have done to the earth, plants, animals etc, we would be considered a risk and simply wiped out.

  • Abomb

    Even Better the Science Channel is doing a Series via their “Through the Worm Hole” show about Are We Alone.  Pretty good stuff.  The first episode is “Will we survive first contact”.  Check it out.