Friday Video: National Geographic – When Aliens Attack

Posted by Scott McMan | March 9, 2012 19


What would you do if alien spacecraft suddenly appeared on the horizon? Well, let’s see…..
If it were me, I’d do the following in no particular order:

1. Pee pants.
2. Poop pants.
3. Run around in circles with arms flailing over my head, screaming uncontrollably.
4. Pass out.
5. Wake up.
6. Repeat.

Actually, I’d probably take charge of things. What things you say? Well, rounding up all the supermodels and making sure they are cared for. What?! Someone has to repopulate after the massacree!

I’ll never forget the encounter I had long ago in my yute. I woke up and saw an alien peeking through the blinds into my room. I panicked and ran screaming, mommy, mommy, mommy until I reached my mother’s bedroom. She rocked me back to sleep, reassuring me that aliens and monsters were just in my imjajigasion. Now, almost a year later, I’m not so sure she told me the truth.

OK, moving on! I happen to be channel surfing last Sunday night and this mockumentary caught my eye. It goes through the scenario of what might happen if we were invaded from space.

I watched the entire thing and it was very interesting. Furthermore, just when I had the ending pegged, bam! It all went in a different direction.

There’s lots of interesting commentary from “know it all” types and people who have delusions that we could actually……OK, I don’t want to give anything away here. The point is, I thought it was fairly cool. A little hard to swallow, but cool. You know, kind of like cough syrup with codeine in it. Tastes awful but well worth the yucky time….Oh and the relief from coughing of course.

What’s that you’re mumbling? Druggie?! I’m no druggie! Now where’s my one hitter, I know I put it here somewhere.

Come onnnn! I knew I put it…..My brother must have…..Oh! Sorry, Kinda lost track of things there. Anyway, let’s get on with the show; I really think you guys will enjoy it.

National Geographic – When Aliens Attack

That was awesome, huh?! Especially the part where Will Smith is all: “Welcome to whatever and stuff”! Wait, am I…..By the way, I found…the thing and then….Where was I?

Thanks to National Geographic for being cool with having their videos reposted.

Here’s their great “how to” handbook on alien invasion.
Plus, their zombie outbreak simulator.

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I grew up in rural NWPA, surrounded in forest. I took an early interest in cryprozoology and sharks and have read many books on various crypto subjects such as Bigfoot and Megalodon over the years. I am not a professional writer or a journalist, but I do the best I can. I have a quirky, obscurely dry and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor than can get me in trouble. Some love me and some hate me, but I am who I am.

19 Responses

  • IThinkso

    Brainwashed!

  • Scott_McMan

     What?

  • ophu

    Why are you worried about the aliens? You realize how many crazy people would come out from under the rocks where they’ve been hiding?

  • Scott_McMan

     Where did I say I was worried about aliens? I’m worried about the crazy rock people! How long have they lived under rocks? Have they ever been seen? Do they look like rocks?

    Oh wait, you said they come from under the rocks. They must be very flat to fit under rocks.

  • ophu

    It’s all very Doctor Who (complete w/wobbly sets).

  • Scott_McMan

     LOL!

  • The Oshmar

    bah, videos blocked in NZ due to copyright grounds >_>

  • RJ

    As a student of history, I would look to the past to see what I could expect to see in the future with that situation. Henán Cortés comes to mind, please note how the Mexicans speak Spanish today, and not Nahuatl, live in Mexico city, and not Tenochtitlan, as well as many other examples

    What Would I do?

    1. Call in sick to work — or just not show up.
    2. Load up all the long-term food, bottled water, guns and ammo into the car.
    3. Drive out of town.
    4. If the human fecal matter hits the electronically-powered wind generator — as it almost certainly will — I’ll give everyone a big fat “I told you so!”
    5. Rewatch “Falling Skies” for ideas on what NOT to do in that situation.

  • RJ

    One Addendum:

    If I were an alien, I wouldn’t set a single foot on the Earth. I’d rather go out into the solar system, re-direct a 5-15 mile asteroid (a relatively small one), and have it hit the Earth. All I’ll have to do is then tap into the various news programs of the Earth, sit down in a comfy chair with my pink bunny slippers and bathrobe on, and play the drinking game: “Every time they show a group of humans running in unimaginable fear and panic from certain death, take a shot!”

    Let’s see those hot-shot military guys make a war-game that can defend the Earth from THAT scenario!

    I’m a “Kill ’em all, let the paleontologists sort ’em out” kind of alien invader.

  • Valkyrie13

    The States has had a plan should Canada invade, so it doesn’t surprise me that there’d be something in the works should aliens invade, an invasion which I see far more likely than a Canadian one anyway.

    Also, you know what I’d like to see?  An alien invasion movie filmed from the perspective of the aliens.  Like Cloverfield but filmed by aliens.  Wouldn’t invading aliens want to film their invasion for later training purposes?  Maybe they’d film some humans during reconnaissance missions or abductions?  Can someone please do that?  If it was done well I’d totally watch something like that.

  • The Oshmar

    You know that Canada while under British rule invaded the USA during the war of 1812 and sacked the whitehouse right val ;p

  • Valkyrie13

    Ah, you’re right, The Oshmar.  I suppose that counts :)  And you know, what I was thinking about was actually the other way around, it was a plan for the US to invade Canada:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/29/AR2005122901412.html  So much for my history schoolin’. 

  • The Oshmar

    I shudder at
    the number of losses on both sides if a full blown war erupts between the two,
    I think Canada’s natural barriers would really assist in the defence, it’s
    tough going fighting in -40C and a lot on both sides would succumb to the cold
    (obviously the war would go for a long period of time due to the size of the
    two armies so war for years would occur) would be a lot like the Napoleonic war
    and WW2 war when attacking Russia, the local forces have a natural edge due to the fact that they are used to the climate.

    Not to
    mention the forests and guerrilla fighting that would occur as well prolonging
    the fight.

    Nasty stuff

  • Valkyrie13

    No kidding, well in that case I’ll opt to become a war refugee in Mexico, and sip on margaritas and do tequila shots all day long.  Although I bet if there ever was a war between the States and Canada it would be over water, and if there’s a shortage of water for whatever reason, maybe Mexico is not the best place to be.

  • Valkyrie13

    Now that I’m watching this, I think the headline is buried in the story, it should be “Cute Government Physicist and Engineer Dr. Travis Taylor Talks about Something.”  So to answer your question, what would I do if an alien spacecraft suddenly appeared on the horizon?  Step 1:  Find Dr. Travis Taylor.  It sounds like he’s the preeminent expert on all this, so he’d probably receive special protection in an underground bunker, and then so would I.  :)

  • Valkyrie13

    Breeding program??? (mentioned like in the last 20 min or so) I realize this negates my last comment, but WTF?  Women are really screwed in any apocalyptic scenario.

  • Jon

    I don’t think aliens would need to invade earth. If they are advanced enough they can just build their own planet, kind of like the Death Star from Star Wars. Or just terraform a planet quickly and easily. They wouldn’t need to invade earth, I mean they could choose to but I don’t think they would bother. 

  • DaveBusinessOnline

    I hate the new style of documentaries they are making.
    Shouldnt that be “Docudrama” instead of “Mockumentary”?

    If I saw an alien craft on the horizon, I would pack my bags with weapons, food and porn mags with one hand while checking GhostTheory.com with the other hand. It would calm me down checking your site as there are always people who refuse to believe.

    It would be like the Iraq invasion all again with the Iraqi commander stood saying that the US were not in Baghdad while US tanks rolled behind him. Right? We could have alien craft filling the skies, dead everywhere, up to our waists in blood and there would still be people saying “I cant believe you are so gullible / uneducated / stupid / idiotic to believe this”.

    Bottom line is that if they did invade, we would be screwed. We would be lucky if we became their pets, but based on what us humans have done to the earth, plants, animals etc, we would be considered a risk and simply wiped out.

  • Abomb

    Even Better the Science Channel is doing a Series via their “Through the Worm Hole” show about Are We Alone.  Pretty good stuff.  The first episode is “Will we survive first contact”.  Check it out.

    http://science.discovery.com/tv/are-we-alone/ 

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