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We’re Still Here

Submitted by on December 21, 2012 – 8:19 AM4 Comments | 926 views

Australia reports on the effects of the Mayan Apocalypse:

From TheAustralian.Com

Mayan Calendar expires, bringing little sign of an Apocalypse
News Limited Network
December 21, 2012 12:20PM


D’oh. We got the date wrong… A member of a folk group performs wearing a Maya mask in Tikal archaeological site in Peten, 560 km north of Guatemala city. Picture: Hector RETAMAL Source: AFP

WELCOME to the 14th b’ak’tun. So far, expectations of our demise appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

The clock has stopped ticking.

The 13th b’ak’tun has ended. The Mayan calendar has expired.

We’re still here. So is New Zealand – and they’re two hours ahead of us.

There are no reports of Planet Nibiru looming suddenly above our atmosphere. No 100ft tall apparitions of Mayan gods have started eating populations here or anywhere else so far covered by the 14th b’ak’tun date-line. The spiritual event, however, may be well under way – with hundreds of hippies gathered at Uluru (Ayres Rock) to do what hippies do. And a convention of spiritualists in Mexico has declared the spiritual ascendancy is happening now, with spirals of light entering your head from a galactic bridge.

But, there is still a chance it may all end. Some are hanging out for midnight Mexico time (5pm AEST) and the start of the new b’ak’tun over the ruins of the Mayan civilisation. Others insist the “event” will happen at exactly 11.11pm – wherever you may live (though why it would happen 11 hours and 11 minutes after the calendar has expired is not explained). Most are just having a good time: One prankster, tweeting under the guise of Prince Charles, has asked “Are you still there, Australia?”

Amid the hype is a real – but remote – cause for fear. Scientists have announced the discovery of an ancient unstable sea-mount off the coast of Queensland. If it slips, it could cause a huge tsunami. Whatever the case, preparations around the world have been extensive. But preparations for the apocalypse seem often to be indiscernible from a good party.

Here’s a summary of the apocalypse so far:

Tourism Australia is glad we’ve survived – and is telling the world to come Down Under to help celebrate.

More than a thousand shamans, seers and stargazers have gathered in the Mexican city of Merida, near the ancient ruins of Chichen Itza.

Enthusiasts have gathered at the Mayan pyramid at Uxmal – the only pyramid with rounded edges – to soften the impact.

Parties are underway in bunkers throughout the world, with one in Russia charging a $1500 door fee.

The French village of Bugarach in the Pyrenees is sleeping quietly – and doing its best to ignore the hundreds of journalists swarming over its backyard mountain.

The anticipated New-Ager tourism boom never happened and the UFO is yet to arrive.

Twitter is facing melt-down with swarms of doomsday jokes, pranks and pictures.

Stonehenge is combining its annual Winter Solstice party with an End of the World party.

Serbians are gathering at their own holy mountain, a pyramid shaped mound repeatedly proven not to be a man-made construction concealing a sorcerer.

Turkey’s end of the world haven is turning into a bust: Only journalists and security guards have turned up at the “exempt” town of Sirince.

Italy’s “exempt” town of Cisternino seems to be doing better: hundreds of hotel rooms have been booked.

China’s determined to make sure the world doesn’t end. It has arrested 500 belonging to a Christian cult using doomsday messages to recruit.

Me? I am off to work because my mortgage company is remarkably lacking in sense of humor on this topic.

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Henry Paterson

Editor at GhostTheory
I would like nothing more than the proof of various cryptids, alien civilizations, even alien visitors to be found. But that proof will come only through rigorous science and objective analysis, and by holding evidence to the highest standards of scrutiny. Born in south eastern Pennsylvania, i have found myself at one time or another living in Chicago, Cleveland, Raleigh-Durham, on the island of Kaua'i and finally landed on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State. I have turned my hand to various professions from early work in 3d graphics to historic building restoration, carpentry and log home building to working in a bronze art foundry on the WWII Veterans Memorial. Currently I am a writer, script writer and working for a non profit organization called Empowerment Through Connection which is involved in equine assisted therapy for veterans, at risk teens and women.

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  • IThinkso

    Some, may not be. Please check with Hospitals around the World. The World ends for some of us every day, except Iblees’s………….The Gateway to Hereafter!

  • Valkyrie13

    I think that picture is Aztec… not the mask but the other one.

  • http://GhostTheory.com/ Henry

    I liked the face sticking its tongue out though

  • Valkyrie13

    Yeah that is pretty cool.