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Shiri Is An Ass!

Submitted by on March 23, 2013 – 7:36 AM9 Comments | 673 views

Image is the property of Dreamworks Animation LLC

Image is the property of Dreamworks Animation LLC


No, I won’t take it back! In fact, I am so sure that Shiri is an ass, that I am writing this article!

Who is Shiri you say? And why am I so mad? Mad to the point of name calling? I could give you lots of reasons for my outburst, but the fact of the matter is my headline merely states a fact. Shiri is quite literally an ass.

Now that I’ve used the word literal, I’m sure you have visions of Mules or Donkeys coming to mind, but you’d be wrong. Remember, I said “literally”.

OK, enough sappy jammer misdirection. Lets get to the butt of my joke, the tail end of this misguided journey, the story behind this rear window look into a taboo subject. I realize my commentary can get ponderosa, but my endeavor is to get the maximus out of this story. OK, that one was a stretch, but you have to remember, this shtick isn’t easy! I’d like to see you come up with…Hey! Sit down buddy! I was being rhetoricalisticated…

Alright already! Sheesh! Here’s your precious SHIRI (Japanese for “buttocks”) story…ingrates!

Meet SHIRI, the Butt Robot

The concept of robots is definitely not new to us. Robots have been a part of our world now for several years. And they are made to somehow make our lives easier.

Sice time immemorial, when people think about robots, they think of one common feature: they have no emotions. Yes, there may be some that can recognize voices, observe people, and act according to spoken commands, but a robot that feels pain or feelings, such as happiness, has not yet been developed.

A rather unusual robot prototype has recently been invented, however. The creative minds at the University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo has made a butt prototype robot, appropriately named Shiri (which is Japanese for “buttocks”).

Unlike other robots, SHIRI is expected to function like a human does in many respects. It is equipped with mechanisms that are similar to muscles and will act differently according to the sensations it “feels,” including whether it feels happy or hurt.

Like people, SHIRI will also tense up, contracting its “muscles” whenever it is in pain. Likewise, its muscles will relax when it senses a soothing feeling.

The continuous flourishing of technology has made for a lot more opportunities for humans to come up with such inventions. In a few years time, I wouldn’t be surprised if cyborgs were already walking on the streets among us.

So far this story is about as funny as a diuretic. Speaking of which, did you ever find an extra large X-Lax bar under the edge of your parents bed and scarf it all down thinking it was just a big chocolate surprise? No? *cough* me either! Oh, and when I say big chocolate surprise, I ain’t referring to the eating part. However, as I said, that never happened to me. By the way, does anyone know where the bathroom is?

Getting back to SHIRI, as you can plainly see, I was right all along and you though I was just being cruel to someone. Shame, shame, everyone knows your….uhh, something? By the by, SHIRI didn’t just happen, the above video has been out for quite some time, butt I was under the assumption that it wouldn’t be well received. In fact I’ve been glossing over it since last year. So, those of you who’ve already seen this…dummy up!

Now, switching gears, lets talk about Henry, who is also an ass. You see? I can plug just about anyone into this and uh, I mean, umm….wait, I guess it doesn’t work out the same way. OK, well, moving on…..

NOTE: Any bad jokes that may have offended you or your loved ones are solely the responsibility of our leader. You can send your hate mail to Javier@GhostT…..

Quoted content comes to us from Genevieve over at Weird Asia News. We’d like to thank her for getting to the bottom of this story. What?! Did you really think I was going to let this go without one more of my hilarious zingers?

Associated Content:

GT: Videos: Bet You Never Thought A Baby Could Be So Creepy
EX: androidworld
EX: Robotic body parts for humans (images)

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I grew up in rural NWPA, surrounded in forest. I took an early interest in cryprozoology and sharks and have read many books on various crypto subjects such as Bigfoot and Megalodon over the years. I am not a professional writer or a journalist, but I do the best I can. I have a quirky, obscurely dry and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor than can get me in trouble. Some love me and some hate me, but I am who I am.

  • ghosttheory

    Hahahaha. What the f*** am I watching?

  • http://GhostTheory.com/ Henry

    And, introducing the next generation of sex dolls here on GT…
    Is there a J-Lo version?

    Seriously though I have also heard recently of a vomiting robot being developed for study of communicable disease.

    http://news.discovery.com/tech/robotics/vomiting-robot-pukes-for-science-130122.htm

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/DimKingdom/ IndridCold

    Sorry I got so distracted by a minor detail, but why the hell did your parents have X-lax under the edge of their bed?! That makes no sense at all!

  • lindsay

    omg! seriously, guys. i watched this show at my cousin’s house about sex robots. it was seriously the WEIRDEST thing i have ever seen in my entire life! they were sooooo creepy. i mean, who wants to have sex with a robot! that’s so weird. they made these dolls so life like. it actually scared the absolute hell out of me lol

  • Scott_McMan

    I think I was quite clear that this didn’t happen to me. Weren’t you paying attention?

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/DimKingdom/ IndridCold

    Well played Sir, well played indeed!

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/DimKingdom/ IndridCold

    Not to be mean, suggestive or sexist, but couldn’t a vibrator be considered a robot of sorts?

  • Valkyrie13

    No, because robots are meant to mimic lifelike abilities, and a vibrator can stimulate orgasm much better than….

  • Drallen77

    Ummmmm????