Nessie Is Real, This I Know…

Nessie Is Real, This I Know…

Because the Christian Fundamentalists tell me so.

Christian Fundamentalists Teach US Children Loch Ness Monster Is Real To Disprove Evolution

The Huffington Post UK
By Lucy Sherriff Posted: 25/06/2012 12:26 Updated: 25/06/2012 13:57

Christianity, Evolution, Loch Ness Monster, Evangelicals, Religion, Theory Of Evolution, Uk News, UK Education News

A state in America is paying for children to attend fundamentalist schools where the existence of the Loch Ness monster is taught as fact in an effort to disprove the theory of evolution.

School children in the southern state of Louisiana are to receive vouchers, provided by the government, enabling them to attend private schools which teach the Accelerated Christian Education curriculum (ACE).

Children will be told that the Loch Ness monster is real

One ACE textbook asks: “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

Another claim includes a Japanese whaling boat catching a dinosaur, according to Herald Scotland.

Jonny Scaramanga, a 27-year-old musician who was educated via the ACE programme, told the Scottish paper said it is common for creationists to believe in sea monsters.

“They’re saying if Noah’s flood only happened 4000 years ago, which they believe literally happened, then possibly a sea monster survived. If it was millions of years ago then that would be ridiculous. That’s their logic.”

Around 6,000 schools teach the controversial curriculum in more than 140 countries, including the UK, although they are not funded by the state. In 2009, a UK government agency ruled ACE’s exams – International Certificate of Christian Education (ICCE) – were equivalent to A-levels. Material on the course includes:

*The Loch Ness monster disproves evolution
*Apartheid was beneficial to South Africa as segregated schools meant different heritages could be passed on to children
*Unquestionable proof exists for creationism

Darwinism and the theory of evolution has traditionally been seen as a threat to Christianity as many claim it proves God does not exist.

Roger Stanyard, spokesman for the British Centre for Science Education, told the Huffington Post the organisation has had widespread concerns over the issue for many years.

“The main worry we have had is the creationist movement getting into education by the back door – which is what has happened in the States.

“We think these sort of tactics are likely to be deployed in the UK as we do not have the protection of a separation between the Church and state. A third of schools teaching children are run by religious organisations – that’s the danger we have in the UK. They are free to endorse right-wing politics.”

Lawsuits have been launched in America, seeking to throw out the education policies, introduced by Governor Bobby Jindal.

Oh, but wait…

It isn’t just America where the bizarre Christian Nessie myth is being taught as a reality. The UK has similar religious schools but they do not receive cash from the state. Nevertheless, the Evangelical Christian curriculum they follow has been approved by UK Government agency, the National Recognition Information Centre (Naric) which guides universities and employers on the validity of different qualifications.

Now this may sound far fetched to some of you, but the church has a tradition regarding the Loch Ness monster.

St. Columba (also known as “Columcille”) was born of the O’Donnell Clan in Garten, County Donegal, Ireland, on December 7, 521; he died on 9 June, 597. In between, he founded monasteries in and evangelized Ireland and Scotland. The story of his meeting Nessie — said to have taken place in A.D. 565 — was first recorded by Adamnan in “The Life of Saint Columba” sometime in the late 7th Century. An excerpt:


How an Aquatic Monster was driven off by Virtue of the Blessed Man’s Prayer.

On another occasion also, when the blessed man was living for some days in the province of the Picts, he was obliged to cross the river Nesa; and when he reached the bank of the river, he saw some of the inhabitants burying an unfortunate man, who, according to the account of those who were burying him, was a short time before seized, as he was swimming, and bitten most severely by a monster that lived in the water; his wretched body was, though too late, taken out with a hook, by those who came to his assistance in a boat.

The blessed man, on hearing this, was so far from being dismayed, that he directed one of his companions to swim over and row across the coble that was moored at the farther bank.

And Lugne Mocumin hearing the command of the excellent man, obeyed without the least delay, taking off all his clothes, except his tunic, and leaping into the water.

But the monster, which, so far from being satiated, was only roused for more prey, was lying at the bottom of the stream, and when it felt the water disturbed above by the man swimming, suddenly rushed out, and, giving an awful roar, darted after him, with its mouth wide open, as the man swam in the middle of the stream.

Then the blessed man observing this, raised his holy hand, while all the rest, brethren as well as strangers, were stupefied with terror, and, invoking the name of God, formed the saving sign of the cross in the air, and commanded the ferocious monster, saying, “Thou shalt go no further, nor touch the man; go back with all speed.” Then at the voice of the saint, the monster was terrified, and fled more quickly than if it had been pulled back with ropes, though it had just got so near to Lugne, as he swam, that there was not more than the length of a spear-staff between the man and the beast.

Then the brethren seeing that the monster had gone back, and that their comrade Lugne returned to them in the boat safe and sound, were struck with admiration, and gave glory to God in the blessed man. And even the barbarous heathens, who were present, were forced by the greatness of this miracle, which they themselves had seen, to magnify the God of the Christians.

The following comes from “Loch Ness in the Highlands of Scotland”:

Once upon a time, when Saint Columba was traveling through the country of the Picts, he had to cross the River Ness. When he reached the shore there was a group of people, Picts and Brethren both, burying an unfortunate guy who had been bit by a water-monster. Columba ordered one of his people to swim across the river and get the boat on the other side so that he might cross. On hearing this, Lugneus Mocumin stripped down to his tunic and plunged in to the water.

But the monster saw him swimming and charged to the surface to devour poor Lugneus and everyone who was watching was horrified and hid their eyes in terror. Everyone except Columba who raised his holy hand and inscribed the Cross in the empty air. Calling upon the name of God, he commanded the savage beast, saying: “Go no further! Do not touch the man! Go back at once!”

The monster drew back as though pulled by ropes and retreated quickly to the depths of the Loch. Lugneus brought the boat back, unharmed and everyone was astonished. And the heathen savages who were present were overcome by the greatness of the miracle which they themselves had seen, and magnified the God of the Christians.

I am forced to wonder if in the development of this curriculum, did anyone tell them that the photograph shown is an admitted fake? Then, I am forced to wonder how the existence of dinosaurs disproves evolution? Then I am forced to wonder how existence of dinosaurs proves creationism, or is this an Intelligent Design curriculum? Then I am forced to wonder if among the “sciencians” that developed this curriculum anyone ever encountered the concept of a minimum viable breeding population? Of course that question cannot be asked because it calls Noah’s Ark into question, but where exactly did Noah have room for all the dinosaurs on the Ark?

I almost want to take this class just to find out.
I am hoping that the vast financial resources of the Catholic Church will now be put toward serious research in crypto-zoology now that Nessie’s existence has finally been acknowledged.

Henry Paterson